A Mother’s Letter to her child

A mother’s letter to her child.
Please forgive me for … Thinking I understand what you are going through. Although I suffered miscarriages I did have children. I don’t know the pain of infertility. So I don’t understand your pain but I know the pain I am feeling because my child is hurting and I can’t make it better. I know you are trying to survive in a world surrounded by others having children. So I say I understand but what I mean to say is I understand about pain because your pain is mine. Although they are different they are both raw and deep.
Please forgive me for … Talking endlessly about your sibling’s child. I love my grandchild and want to share the joy with everyone. I know you love this child too and are happy for your sibling but the constant reminder of the ease of their pregnancy journey was very inconsiderate of me. I am sorry I didn’t put your feelings before mine it was not intentional.
Please forgive me for … talking when you needed listening. I thought offering advice would somehow comfort you, what you really needed was to just be heard, not judged, counseled, advised, or questioned. I promise to do better.
Please forgive me for…. Saying it’s going to all work out, I was never trying to discount your feelings and act like I thought this was no big deal. I was voicing my hopes and prayers out loud because I thought you needed a positive outlook; I didn’t realize I was shutting you out.
Please forgive me for …. talking about all the people I know that had a baby through IVF on their first attempt. I thought I was giving you hope I didn’t know it only reminded you that your journey is more difficult than theirs was.
Please forgive me for … causing you more pain because of the things I did or failed to do. I have loved you since I knew you were coming and I don’t know how to help you. I want to grab you and pull you onto my lap and hug and kiss your problems away as I did when you were a child. If only it was that easy!
The magic of a mother’s lap and love seems to fade as every year goes by in a child’s life. Eventually you have a grown daughter who knows the truth about life. It is not fair and at times it seems impossible but it is the one that God has given us and I am very thankful he has.

I promise to… continue to pray you know the joy of motherhood and ask God to give you “a mother’s lap”.

I promise to… always be by your side loving you, supporting you, and trying to make your day better.
I promise to… think before I speak so I don’t cause you any unnecessary pain.

So please forgive me…

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