Sharing the view

We spent time with my daughter and her husband on Saturday just hanging out. When we left them her father said “they need to stop stressing about this” if she stops worrying so much they’ll get pregnant. It’s going to happen. As I told him he knew becoming stress free would not cure their infertility he became angry.
“I know I know” he said I just don’t understand why things are always so difficult for her. Why can’t she get pregnant like everyone else is?
I worry so much about her and I’m scared.
For the first time he admitted out loud that he knew there was an actual issue/reason not just stress but more importantly that he was scared.
He’s worried about her physical health (she has underlying medical issues that can put her and the baby at risk if untreated/undetected). He is also concerned about her emotionally and mentally. Can she continue to hear bad news and have set backs? We discussed how at times she is very fragile and other times she is a pillar of strength. Is the strength a facade? I don’t think so, she is one of the most remarkable young women I know (of course I am not biased) I am viewing her thru the eyes of a mother. But even the strongest foundation will give way if continually chipped away at.
He wants to know how can I help her? I wrapped my arms around this gentle giant and hugged and kissed him. I told him just be the dad she has always known strong and loving, I added a few “try not to” statements like “just listen to her” stop trying to fix something you can’t. I only just learned these myself in recent days.
We kissed goodnight and turned to go to sleep. I heard him breathing deep and even and knew he fell off to sleep. I then began my nightly prayers and when I got to my daughter and her infertility I sounded like I was begging. You know, like when you overhear a child in a store “please mommy please”. Please God let my daughter know the beauty of motherhood. Please let her hear good news at her upcoming doctor’s appt.
As I laid my head down I realized I was again crying not just crying but sobbing on this night. My pajama top and pillow were soaked from my tears, my eyes will be swollen in the morning and once again I will blame it on allergies.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s